No Hentai On The Chuck E. Cheese WIFI Please

Read to the end for an absolute banger

First Up, A Good Dog Pic

lol.

Second, We Have An Art Tutorial

Last month, Tumblr user bananatwinky posted a really interesting art project. They said that when they’re bored they take a sexy lady pose template and apply it to characters it should absolutely not be applied to. For instance:

Just awful. Anyways, because Tumblr is Tumblr, another user named silkanide decided to join in the fun. Check this horrible thing out:

Yet another unfair body standard for women smh.

Guys, Let’s Talk About Something Serious

Damn. Really makes you think.

Now, Some BTS Drama

If you aren’t familiar with Limmy, he’s a Scottish comedian and pretty prolific Twitter troll. He’s also the feathers guy. Earlier this week, he decided to pick a fight with ARMYs (that’s what BTS stans call themselves, duh). Things seem like they got pretty nasty. ARMYs started reporting Limmy’s account and piling into his mentions.

The whole thing went back and forth for while until it seems like Limmy was ultimately defeated by the BTS stans. A day later, Limmy conceded that he had actually never heard BTS before and decided to check them out.

What a wholesome ending. I glad we can put all of this nastiness behind us. Anyways stan Loona.

Alright, Reader Mail Time

Last week, I asked whether or not Santa counts as a DILF elf. A very wonderful Garbage Day reader named Nora has some thoughts on the topic:

santa is NOT a DILF ELF, he is a BEAR and he is definitely NOT GENETICALLY RELATED TO AN ELF hes a human man whos mother was an old timey coca cola bottle and whos father was a stern Polish man obsessed with feet and socks.

papa smurf could i guess be considered a dilf elf except he is NOT dilfy at all.

the only true dilf elf is tim gunn. thank you

Thanks Nora!

Next Up, Daddy’s Sticker Chart

OK, here’s the deal. When I first saw this, I assumed it was a DDLG thing. For the uninitiated, DDLG stands for “daddy dom little girl,” and it’s a roleplay community of men who order around women who act like little girls. I am extremely happy kinkshaming the entire subculture. A lot of DDLG folks hang out on Tumblr and one DDLG couple is responsible for what is possibly the most cursed Tumblr post of all time, which was the “When Daddy cuts my French toast / I should have never made her eat the doo doo” fiasco. You can click over and check it out if you feel like it. I absolutely refuse to go into it anymore than I already have.

ANYWAYS, this is an extremely long preamble for the fact that I actually realized the Daddy’s Sticker Chart is probably not a fetish thing, but in fact, probably like a chore list for a straight couple with a new baby? Well, if this was made by a heterosexual couple then I actually think it’s worse than if it was some weird DDLG roleplay thing.

Before You Go, A Fun Thing

I saw this on Tumblr. It’s pretty good. It’s a “Sexual Identity Generator”. I just used it and apparently I’m…

Fair enough.

Finally, A Cuddle Zone For Your Sexy Anime Mom

Oh god this rules so hard. Ugh. Just great. If you’re a little confused as to what you’re looking at here, this is a bunch of Japanese otakus cuddling on the sidewalk with a cardboard cutout of a sexy anime mom as a group of gaijin tourists watch on. It’s perfect. Here’s the full story, according to friends of Garbage Day, Sora News 24 (fun fact: a couple years ago I went to their offices in Tokyo and they gave me a nude calendar they made of themselves and not one, but two Tenga sex eggs).

  • This was a recent marketing stunt in Tokyo’s Akihabara weeb district.

  • The marketing team set up thin rubber pads, a knee-shaped pillow, and a cardboard cut-out of the anime mom.

  • Apparently, it’s promoting an Isekai anime called Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?

  • The hot mom is named Mamako and apparently she’s both the protagonist’s mother and a very powerful warrior.

  • The Twitter user who posted the photos wrote, “At the moment I took this picture in Akihabara, I thought, ‘To the rest of the world: THIS is Japan.’”

Just, really, just like, damn, what a perfect story.

P.S. here’s an absolute banger.


***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***