Alright, guys, I’ve been debating whether to do this or not, but it doesn’t look like we’re leaving our homes any time soon, so0o0o0o introducing the first Garbage Day podcast… Trailblazers: The First Two Men To Ever Do A Podcast, you can click that link and listen to it on Spotify or listen to it right here inside of Substack. I’m still trying to figure out exactly the best way to get it on all platforms. I think Apple is currently “validating it.”
The show is very simple — two or three internet things that I don’t have room for here in this newsletter. My co-host, Luke, will be helping me bring this to you guys every week. I apologize in advance for Luke’s accent. Shoot me an email and let me know what you want from it! Honestly, we have nothing but time now and I have the bare minimum of a studio set-up in my house.
Additional reading for this week’s show:
The Pandemic Is Affecting Every Part Of Society
If you aren’t totally hip to what psychic vampires are and you have Hulu, you should check out the TV adaptation of What We Do in the Shadows, which has a very good psychic vampire character in it. But it’s also a very old and real — well, in the sense that they think they’re real — internet subculture. They’re usually grouped into the very old and complicated otherkin rats nest.
Coronavirus Cooking Trend Alert: Waffle Irons?
I’ve seen a few of these tweets now, so I’m calling this a trend. This first one looks terrible, but honestly, I’ve eaten Hamburger Helper three days in a row now, so who am I to judge.
This next COVID waffle looks good actually. But I do have some questions. It’s a recipe for totwaffles, which are basically just potato pancakes, but you know, waffles.
The issue I have is not with the preparation of the totwaffles — or the thread about making them, which is a really lovely read and worth clicking through for. The issue I have is with THIS:
Look, my brain says, yes, ok, this makes sense, ketchup is just sugar, vinegar, and tomatoes. Syrup is just more sugar(???). But somehow, the idea of combining the two is so revolting that I can’t really handle it.
Let’s Check In On How Remote Classes Are Going
😬😬😬
Good Walrus Cam
Nothing really more to say about this tbh. It’s walruses. They make deep guttural noises and lay around. Sometimes they slap each other. It’s over an hour long. What more could you ask for?
CVS Bangers Four Has Finally Dropped
CVS Bangers is back, baby, and apparently this time it’s a member of antifa. Cool! I’m not going to explain what this is to anyone out of the loop, because it’s best experienced in the moment. Click over and dive into TOLKIENBLACK’s fourth addition to his masterful canon of work.
I’ve been debating spending the next several weeks getting good enough at Ableton to do a/b mashups of meme songs. Will keep you updated on how that project plays out.
Here’s A Good Coronavirus Chain Text My Sister Just Sent Me
Omg I’m freaking out a member of the CDC just called me personally and told me I need to isolate myself immediately because they found out one of the new symptoms of the virus is having a fat ass and great personality. Send this to 19 other babes before midnight to stay healthy and hot
I thought it was pretty funny after my heart stopped racing.
Finally, The Social Distancing Grime Anthem We’ve Been Waiting For
This is from UK grime artist Psychs, it’s called “Spreadin' (Coronavirus)” and holy hell is it good. If you’re looking for another viral banger about the viral outbreak, you should go check out Yofrangel’s “CORONA VIRUS 😷💉”. I’ve been catching some of these as they go around, but has anyone seen a good playlist with all of them yet?
Oh, Actually, One More Important Coronavirus Anthem
celebrities,,, thank u
A Good Old Fashioned YouTube Hole
One fascinating side effect of the coronavirus outbreak is that it has essentially turned every part of the internet back on — blogs, comment sections, group chats, Google Docs, video conferencing. For a long time (since, let’s randomly say, January 20, 2017), it’s felt like many parts of the social web were atrophying. And platforms like Facebook, and especially Twitter, were becoming more bloated and powerful, as the American media and political classes suddenly realized the internet mattered. But in the last few weeks, I’ve seen a real explosion of a sort of “total web” experience. Back in September, I was wondering aloud if the internet would become less centralized as privacy-focused Zoomers came of age. I, of course, did not predict a global pandemic would exacerbate it, but it seems like that’s what’s happening.
I was thinking about all of this when I came across @josephcorcoran’s tweet about the apparently vicious cheesemaking YouTube community.
I am not exaggerating when I say, I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. What @josephcorcoran doesn’t say is that the traffic on this dude’s videos is insane. This one about making mozzarella has over 2 million views.
Unfortunately, the tweet about his channel went so viral that most of the comments are from people saying, “came here from Twitter, where are the angry Italians?” I haven’t been able to locate many of them either, but on the video above I did find one comment in Italian that reads, “ma che roba è....che schifo....” which translates to “what is it...how disgusting....”
New Tumblr Aesthetic Alert: #Medicalcore
Like I said, the internet is exploding with activity in a way we probably haven’t seen since right after 9/11 — which I’ve written about before on Garbage Day. So it makes sense we’ve got a brand new Tumblr aesthetic. It’s exactly what you’d expect.
I’m going to assume that as the panic and boredom created by the coronavirus inspires more Total Web, things will only become more delirious and insane.
P.S. here’s the best video I’ve ever seen.
***Any typos you notice in this email are on purpose actually***
The true global pandemic is men deciding to start podcasts